Freddy vs. Jason

* You wants to know what this is about? Well, let's see...

Ooooh! It's Freddie and Jason! Freddie Mercury and Jason Donovon singing, yes, yes?

* Er, no, not quite. Two of horror cinema's biggest franchise figures appearing in the same film.

Oh.

* Expect gore, blood, extraneous shots of breasts and screaming teenagers.

Argh! Not *teenagers*!

* Oh, the transgression, oh the humanity, oh the cheesy, *cheesy* lines...

Not listenin', not listenin'...

* Abounding with cliche, gore and a whole heap of in-jokes, this is the mother of all slasher films- with two of the biggest nasties celluloid has ever seen...

...Any Rings in there?

* Oh, no, no *Rings*, something much *worse*, oh, yes-

* One, two, We're coming for you...

* Three, four, there's a knock on your door...

* Five, six, grab your Uniplex...

* Seven, eight, Stay up late...

* Nine, ten, never sleep again...

* And we likes that don't we, my precioussssss?

...

Now's your scarin' *me*.